Friday, September 24, 2010

The Heavens Proclaim His Glory, by Lisa Stilwell

This would make a great coffee table or waiting room book to easily pass the time of those sitting around looking for intrigue and easy conversation. Lisa Stilwell has done an amazing job of compiling pictures from the Hubble Telescope, which she has set behind scripture verses and inspiring quotes.

Overall, this is a picture book worth reading. It was a page turner for sure due to the cascade of colorful, awe producing images that overcome you eyes. Nebulas, galaxies, auroras, comets, planets and universes are all captured by the Hubble with precision that I'm sure I didn't realize was possible until reading a factoid page about Hubble.

Pros and Cons
Pros: The pictures are amazing. Whether you're a student of astrology or not, you can't help but be floored by some of the cool images you'll see in this book. Accompanying many of the pictures are facts, tidbits of information and "did you know" type sections. These are fun to read to better understand what you're looking at. For Christians the juxtaposed Bible verses can be motivational and inspiring. This book points Christians toward moments of reflectivity on God and the vastness of creation.

Cons: I wish there were more factoids about space. I'd like to learn more about space, but I'm not going to pick up a text book anytime soon. But this book is attractive. The pictures are captivating, and it would be a good opportunity to educate. However, not enough of this is done. Also, for non-Christians, this book may be cool but annoying, because there are a lot of Bible verses and religious quotes.

One also could not peruse this book without considering the age old schism created by many between science and religion on the matter of creation/origin of life. Some claim the two are contradictory, that they cannot compliment each other or even simply coexist. I am of the mind that they are not contradictory, that they are two not-so-different ways of seeing the world. However, I can see how this is difficult to reconcile for those who give a literal reading of the Genesis creation accounts (yes, there are two).

Whatever your background though, I think this book will be fun to look at for anyone. I sure hope it never becomes yet another platform for argument between people with differing viewpoints on our world. Perhaps, instead, looking at these pages with someone of a different belief system or none at all could be an opportunity to celebrate and marvel together at the fantastic, awe-striking world/universe/stuff in which we live.

I'll drink to that.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

A Man's Place

You may recall seeing an old article, circulated on the modern-day internet via funny news, emails or youtube videos, entitled "The Good Wife's Guide," which described a women's ideal role in the 1950s. Several times this article has crossed my screen, and I have reviewed it in utter astonishment over how much things have changed.

Here is a link to a summarized version of the article, because this picture is too small to read. Some of my favorite entries are:

*Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment; instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.
*Some Dont's: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he's late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day.

Overall, it's about being the stereotypical perfect house wife. And, who couldn't use one of those? Now, most modern folks, because of the feminist movement and our general progression further into enlightenment, would probably label this article and its opinions as strictly oppressive and degrading to women. And for the most part, I would agree.

However, a discussion of this article cannot exclude the comment that the 1950s were a different time entirely, and if my history is correct, most women didn't work outside of the home. So, as oppressive of demeaning as this article may appear, I have come to a place where I can appreciate to some small degree the advice (yes, I said "advice") given here.

For about 5 weeks now, Heather has worked as a pharmacist for Rite Aid before we venture to the great northwest. And for most of that time I have had little to do that involved generating income. I've stayed productive, of course, getting us ready to move and such; however, a large portion of my time has also involved keeping up the apartment. For several weeks now, I have had my first real chance to be a house husband.

On days she works, Heather usually has to work for 12 hours. This means she needs a lunch and snacks for the day, and she will be hungry when she get's home. So, most mornings I pack her a wonderful lunch with extra snacks to munch on, and I have to plan dinner for that night. I take care of the kids (dogs) and keep our place tidy during the day.

What I have noticed as I've filled this role for the past month is this: Though it may sound very oppressive for a man to expect or demand dinner on the table when he gets home after work, I have found that I want to have food ready for Heather to eat. Because, I know she's tired and hungry. Cleaning house as women's work may sound like beating a dead stereotypical horse; but, again, I like being able to gift my wife with a clean environment when she's unwinding at night.

Doing these things and a few others actually gives me a sense of accomplishment for the day. I mean really, how lame would I be if she came home after a 12-hour shift followed by a 45-minute drive and I was in my underwear on the couch playing video games with potato chip crumbs all down my shirt (or shirtless belly. Eww)?

So, while this infamous article about a woman's place and gender roles sounds pretty horrible to our ears, it may have sounded a bit different to it's original audience. After all, if I could read an article that gave me a few tips on how to better make Heather happy upon arriving from work, I'd gladly read it.

Suggestions anyone? I've got on my apron and am ready for action!

Monday, September 6, 2010

Alaska, here we come!

Well folks, it's official. No more ifs, ands or buts. For about two years now, Heather and I have dreamed of living in Alaska after we both got through school. Having both been there more than once, we were enchanted by what seems to be a majestic nature of America's largest state.

I lived in Alaska for one month years ago with my uncle and his family on Elmendorf Airforce Base. We hiked Flat Top Mountain together, played basketball till 11pm many nights, and it was still light enough to see clearly. I went fly fishing in the Kenai River. I drove the entire road system in Alaska during that month (there's not much to it). My cousin, uncle and I caught 9 pink salmon in the ocean at the mouth of the Kenai. I went deep sea fishing and caught two 25lb halibut. And, we chartered a boat to fish in the middle of the Kenai river during which I, only 13 years old, caught a 65lb king salmon setting the record for second largest ever non-comercial catch on that river (they put my picture in the paper). After I caught my fish, moments later, my cousin-12 years old-caught a 57lb king salmon. My uncle later caught a 25lb king but threw it back cause he was holding out for something bigger. He didn't get it.

Alaska has had me ever since.

Heather has visited 3 or 4 times on church mission trips, each for a week. All but one time they stayed in Anchorage predominantly hosting a vacation Bible school for kids in the community, working with other Baptist churches during worship and building decks, painting fences or whatever needed done to fix up a local church. One year, Heather, her family and others ventured to Kobuk, AK, a small village north of the Arctic Circle to minister to the people there. They flew to Anchorage, drove north to Fairbanks, then flew on a tiny, tiny bush plane to Kobuk: small town, huge mosquitoes.

Our last trip to AK, we took together, with a church group. During that week Heather and I and two others visited daily a home for troubled teenage boys. We played games and talked mostly, getting to know them and built strong relationships in a short span of time. I'll always remember them and the lively and unique spirit within each of those boys.

In Alaska everything seems bigger. I know Texas has the monopoly on things being big, but lets face it, Texas doesn't have many mountains and isn't even half the size of Alaska. So Texas...back off. I remember looking at the sky and thinking it was somehow closer in Alaska than in North Carolina, but also so far away. We once drove to see and walk on a glacier. The drive was on a road next to the water at the foot of an enormous mountain with scores of them on the horizon. It was absolutely breath taking.

In NC we have bears. They occasionally got into our family's trash can growing up but are relatively harmless as long as one is careful. In AK they have bigger bears who are not at all harmless. There's an entire island named after the most dangerous bear, Kodiak Island, on which I'm sure I'll never set foot. It's nothing, even in Anchorage-a big city-to spot a moose crossing the road or hanging out near the airport. They're very large and one should always keeps his or her distance.

The most common question we get is, "Why would you want to live in Alaska?" Well, these are some of the reasons we want to live there, even if only for a short time. And now, after finishing school and a long arduous process of hopes, dreams, disappointments and worries, we no long have to say we'd like to go. We can now say WE ARE GOING! Last Friday, Heather was officially offered a job as a Clinical Pharmacist at a small specialty hospital in Anchorage. After much jubilation, we have accepted and are making plans to move.

We're finally getting our dreams to come true. Things are falling into place, and for the next month before we leave we'll be seeing friends once more and saying goodbyes and goodlucks. It won't be goodbye forever, but it might be for a while. Because we're finally able to say with confidence, "Alaska, here we come!"

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Cars

In anticipation of our 2-week cross-country journey/drive to Alaska, Heather and I have slowly been shopping all summer for an adequate vehicle. Making sure we have ample time to do our homework and not be pressured into buying by pushy car salesman, car-fever or time constraints has proven worth while.

Over the past two months we have visited around a dozen dealers or smaller car lots. I have spent probably some 30 hours online looking for cars, and we have looked through hundreds of suitable cars. From this, I have learned several things about the car buying process that will help me (and you) next time.

1) Know what you want before you even visit a dealer. The sales people are ready to do business, and if you're not they'll seem more pushy than they're probably being.

2) Shop while you drive. The best place to scout out what body style or kind of car that is pleasing to your eye is on the interstate. While driving you'll pass virtually every car out there today. Take note of the ones you like.

3) Get the sales people to work for you. I contacted dozens of dealers, even ones out of state, asking questions, making inquiries, etc. Most of them offered to take down the specifics of what I wanted and find it for me. This is very helpful. *(I also learned that you can do all the buying right over the phone, then just go, sign the already prepared papers and drive away. How cool is that?)

4) The old method of haggling back and fourth over price is on its way out. With more dealers actually and honestly offering bottom dollar prices these days it's forcing others to do the same.

5) When buying, ask to see the invoice (how much the dealer paid for the car). This will show you if you're getting raked over by a high percentage mark up.

6) Internet prices on vehicles are very often less than on-the-lot prices. Make sure you see both.

7) Don't name a price. The first thing sales people asked us was our price range. "But never give them a number," says my good Singaporian friend Greg who is a salesman himself (but not the car kind).

8) Avoid car fever. "Car Fever" is that excited, gotta-have-it feeling people get when they first start shopping. One salesman admitted to me that he gets a lot of business from car fever. It took me about a month to get over this feeling, and I began thinking clearly again. Car fever will almost always make you spend more money. Most people buy a car within 48 hours of their first visit to a dealer because they contract car fever. That's rarely enough time to make a wise decision.

9) Check the car fax report. Make sure the vehicle you're considering has never been wrecked or salvaged or something like that. All cars have one. If you can't view it online or if the dealer steers you away from seeing it don't buy the car.

10) Mileage matters more than year. I would rather buy a 5 year old car with 30K miles on it than a 2 year old car with 50K milse. Cars age by the mile, not so much the year.

11) Never buy a brand new car. Dave Ramsey (money guru) will back me up on this one. Most cars lose over half their value during the first few years of ownership. Buying a 2-5 year old car will save you big bucks in the long run, and it will run just fine. Dave Ramsey says that only people with 1 million dollars in cash sitting around can afford the financial loss that comes from buying a brand new vehicle.

For Alaska, Heather and I needed a 4-wheel drive vehicle with pleanty of seating and cargo space. We decided on a pick-up truck. We then decided we wanted to be patriotic and only buy American. It came down to either a Ford F-150 or a Dodge Ram. Either would do. And in the end we found a good deal on a Dodge Ram 1500, quad cab, Big Horn. And it happened to be Heather's very most favorite color...ever.

We actually found it at a dealer in North Georgia, where I noticed cars tend to be cheaper than expensive ol' Asheville, NC. It's 3 years old but it only has 11.5K miles, nearly new. And the price was compatible with all the other used ones we'd looked at, even cheaper than most F-150s.

A gas guzzler, yes. And, it's a far cry from our little 2-door Saturn (which we're selling by the way, so if you're interested let me know). But it is fun to drive!

Of course, you can see from the picture this is very much a personality car and probably requires a name. I want to hear your suggestions. Please post them in the comment section.

Boundaries, by Cloud and Townsend

I recently finished reading the very famous and popular book on relational psychology, Boundaries: When to say yes, How to say no, by doctors Henry Cloud and John Townsend.

Let me start by saying this book is a must read for almost everybody. (I'll get to the almost in a bit.) Cloud and Townsend are both tenured psychologists/counselors in California and have written a slew of books on developing and keeping healthy relationships for and with all ages. Boundaries is the first of what has become a franchise of books. Since this book they have written Boundaires with Kids, Boundaires for Teens, Boundaires in Marriage (which I read about 1.5 years ago), and others. Most of the topics for their subsequent books are touched on with a chapter each in this book.

It is not a quick read, partially because the book can be painful to read as they will likely address one your own personal situations. Nor should you blaze through this book, because every page is packed with a punch of reality.

Cloud and Townsend give sound vetted advice for developing appropriate firm yet permeable boundaries in all of life's relationships. A boundary is a dividing line. It helps us to distinguish where you end and where I begin. This is so many applications when considering marriage relationships, dealing with children, dating and work relationships.

I will not attempt to try and re-explain the contents of this book, but rather I will say virtually every person I know (myself included) can benefit from clearer boundaries in life.

This book is not a motivational speech which tells readers, "Yes you can," or simply wants to inspire making readers feel warm and fuzzy. Quite the opposite the authors want to empower readers; however, their approach is based in psychology and their explanations of relationship dynamics and what is going on inside our frail subconscious is dead on and sometimes a little scary. During the section on boundaries with family I thought they were writing to me personally. After reading their book Boundaries in Marriage I learned to empathize, recognize power dynamis and began learning to be a better husband.

Like the title suggests, the book address when to say yes to people and how to say no. It doesn't blame others for our problems but rather helps readers to see how we are part of the problem and then advises how to more forward from there. Believe me when I say this, THERE IS GOOD STUFF IN THIS BOOK.

I first began thinking that everyone should read this book. I mean everyone. I had planned on suggesting on my blog that this book be required summer reading during the late high school years. Because, come on, we need to learn math and science, yes, but young adults also need to learn about healthy relationships and how to be introspective. However, moreso than the later book on marriage, this book incorporates a heavy dose of references to the Bible and the Christian tradition. From a Christian perspective, I can appreciate that they did their homework in finding the pieces of timeless wisdom encapsulated within the Bible that still apply to human relationships. Surprising to many, the Bible actually addresses the age old struggle within the mother-in-law to daughter-in-law relationship. But I can also respect differences in faith and do not wish to shove the Bible down someone's prychological throat hitched on the back of a book on relationships.

My point is this. This book, though I award it the ever coveted Nathan-two-thumbs-up, is a little too deeply rooted in Christianity for me to say that everybody needs to read it. Now, with that said, I will still recommend it to anyone, Christian or not, because you don't have to take all the scripture references to still get the wisdom found in this book. If you just cannot abide the Christian undertones in this book, go get anther one that has the same sound advice without the religious stuff and read it.

I have already recommended this book to many and given it to at least two people to read. I imagine that this number will rapidly increase as I go through life. If I ever do premarital counseling as a minister, this book will likely be a required read. If you've never done any self-reflective reading, take some advice from a self-reflection marathoner and pick up this book.