We Need A New Word, part 2

In my last blog post, in which I considered the Enlish language's lack of a word to denote a long-term committed relationship that does not involve contractual marriage, I offered a few possible words and asked for more suggestions.

Since then, I've been asking people and even trying out some of the alternate words in casual conversation to see how they "go over." I've also gotten some good feedback from the comments.

One commentor offered that we call these people who are in our family though not by law, "family." As she noted, this is not a new word, but simply a wonderful inclusion that expresses love and acceptance, two things of which I'm in favor. So, while I very much like this suggestion, it doesn't solve the problem.

My mother suggests that because Kiwanis (a Christian men's group) uses the term "partner," and since it's good enough for this national organization it ought to be good enough for everyone else. But, I already expressed why I think "partner" is not quite right. At least not yet. Society still thinks "partner" means homosexual.

 Similarly, another comment shared that "life partner" is used by the company she works for. And, it's understandable why the coorporate world prefers this term. It's easy, and most companies nowadays don't care of about the gay/straight issue to which this term might give rise.

Audrey also stated that she sometimes says she's "unmarried" or "a little bit married" to her long-time committed boyfriend. Generally, I like this phraseology. It's witty fairly and clearly describing their circumstances.

An unknown-to-me commentor agreed she doesn't like "partner" for reasons that it sounds too uptight or formal. She suggested "spouse," but obviously this doesn't work, because "spouse" comes with too much assumption of a marriage contract. The marrieds have the patent on "spouse." She says that she refers to her boyfriend of 18 years as her "man," which he likes. Though, I'm not ready to close the deal with "man/woman," because, let's be honest, it would just be weird and unclear if I started talking about my brother and his "woman."

Last night, in casual conversation I tried using the term, "unwife." Afterwards I asked the person I was talking to if she knew what I meant. She did not. I then suggested "not-wife," which she immediately thought was better.

We talked about it some more and came up with some more suggestions, which are "semi-wife/husband," "pseudo-wife/husband" and "para-wife/husband." Of these three I like "para-" the least and "pseudo-" the most. If I casually refer to my sister and her "psuedo-husband" in conversation, I think the correct meaning would translate fairly well to most people. Though, "semi-husband/wife/spouse" is a close 2nd to "pseudo-." What do you think between these two?

Further thoughts on "not-." I previously said that I'm not sold on "not-wife/husband," because it may convey a negative connotation of condemnation: that though these two are not married they should be. But does the term "not-spouse" actually convey this? Or am I just being a little paranoid of offending people? If you are in an unmarried although committed relationship, how does this term sound to your ears? Do you find it offensive in the least? Condemning?

Another option for seaching out a new word/term is to come up with an acronym that can be used as a noun. For instance, I could refer to the Person I Live With Un-Married as my "PILWUM." Now, "Pilwum" isn't very smooth, but I imagine more creative minds could do better than I did after only two minutes of thinking on it.

So, it's time for deeper discussion people! We need a new word, and the popularity of this blog is just the platform to spawn something that can take our society by storm! Comments, comments comments, please.